The Psycho Mom’s Anatomy Scan

A while back I wrote about the three types of moms.  How you handle the anatomy scan can point to what kind of mom you are.  This is a story about how the Psycho Mom handles her anatomy scan.

The anatomy scan is an ultrasound performed around 20 weeks (about half way through your pregnancy) to measure the baby and make sure everything is progressing normally.  How does the anatomy scan determine what kind of mom you are, you ask?

It’s Anatomy Scan Day for each of the moms, here’s how they handle it:

It’s the Laid Back Mom’s anatomy scan, she calls it “an ultrasound” she is excited to be able to see her baby today!  She is happy that she gets some extra pictures, and the fact that this is a diagnostic tool hasn’t even entered her mind!  She’s excited and happy! 

It’s the Typical Mom’s anatomy scan, she calls it “the anatomy scan” she is a little nervous.  She knows that this is supposed to be a big day in her pregnancy, but she’s overall excited that she gets to see her baby and she’s feeling rather confident that everything will go just fine.

It’s the Psycho Mom’s anatomy scan, she calls it “the DUN DUN DUN anatomy scan” she is purely scared.  She knows that this is a huge day and that all major problems (if there are any) could be picked up today. 

I know I’m a Psycho Mom.  In fact, I’ve never met a mom quite as crazy as me.  It’s not a good thing.  It’s not a bad thing (sometimes, yeah it is).  It’s just the type of mom I am.  Want to know how my anatomy scan went?

Let’s paint the scene: I’m laying there, furry belly exposed (pregnancy makes you hairy–we haven’t talked about this yet, but we will).  During the first three seconds it takes him (my ultrasonographer, Chris) to find the baby I hold my breath.  Upon finding the baby, I panic inside because the baby isn’t moving (I don’t think?).  I examine Chris’ face for any information it might give me.  He says, “there he is… oh look, he’s jumping.”  I can exhale now. He starts to poke around, get pictures and measure things.  He’s making light-hearted conversation with Marvin about sports (note to self: next time I have an ultrasound I have to instruct Marvin that he is not allowed to talk; his banter may be distracting Chris from discovering something important). He takes a few minutes measuring and taking pictures (while talking to Marvin about the different basketball coaches at the area high schools).  He tells me “everything looks great, the baby weighs approximately 10 oz”.  He pokes around a little more.  He says “Oh look, here’s a good side profile” he clicks a picture and he removes the wand from my belly. He is done. Woah, woah, woah.  Is he done?  Like, he thinks we’re done?  We’re not done!

Me: That’s it?
Chris: Yep!  He looks great!
Me: Ummm… no.
Chris: What’s wrong?
Me: Can you show me?
Chris: I am going to print some pictures for you to take!
Me: No… I mean, can you show me the parts you checked?  Like, ok, so you saw his spine? His spine is ok? All of the vertebrae are equally separated?
Chris: Yep… here ya go. (shows me spine).
Me: Ok, and his heart has four chambers?
Chris: Yep… here ya go. (shows me heart)
Me: Where are the four chambers?
Chris: (counts out and points to chambers)
Me: Ok, and his cord has 3 vessels?
Chris: Yep….look. (shows me cord)
Me: Can you press that button so I can see the bloodflow?
Chris: You know alot about ultrasounds… (shows me the bloodflow).
Me: Ok, thanks. And the cord is implanted in the center of the placenta?
Chris: Yes… (shows me)
Me: Ok, can I see his kidneys?
Chris: Here ya go. (shows me kidneys)
Me: And his head is a normal circumference?
Chris: Yes. (shows me head)
Me: How is he measuring as far as my dates go?
Chris: Right on target!
Me: Like exactly June 8th?
Chris: Well, like two days ahead.
Me: Ok, thank you!

Did I feel better after the scan?  Eh, kinda.  I felt better that those things look normal on the ultrasound, but until I have him in my arms and I can inspect him I won’t be able to feel 100% sure he’s ok. (Even then….)

This blog isn’t long enough for me to talk about all my shades of crazy.  


2 thoughts on “The Psycho Mom’s Anatomy Scan”

  1. LOL I think I'm a psycho mom, too; however, in my anatomy scan, the girl actually went through each part and would say its good and its this and that, so I didn't have to probe her for the details, thankfully. 🙂


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