I know this is going to come as a complete shock to you guys, but I do not make money with this blog. I know that’s surprising since I am so obviously poised and polished. I do a great job of branding myself, right? I mean, I am a PR person’s dream. Could there even be a person more marketable than me? Seriously though, I haven’t made one red cent here, and, if we’re counting the yearly fee, I’m technically in bloggy debt.
Usually, I come here and my fingers start going and before I know it a post is born. I share the post and that’s that. The end. It always felt kind of anticlimactic to me. There had to be a purpose, right? Why didn’t I know what the purpose was? What was I missing?
I searched on and off the past five years for that purpose. I thought maybe it was to make money, so I tried to make my site and myself more marketable (big, fat fail, by the way). I see so many bloggers who actually do make money with their blogs. So, I thought that’s what bloggers were supposed to do. You can probably think back to a few of my posts that seemed inauthentic and forced, like I was trying too hard. I was trying too hard, by the way. I always felt like I was failing at blogging because I wasn’t making money.
What’s the point?
I always searched out there, as if someone else would be able to tell me why I write. I looked to the internet and other bloggers to tell me what the purpose of this whole thing was. It had never occurred to me to go within myself and ask: “Hey, Diana, why do you write? Why do you share your writing with people? What’s your ‘why’.” So, I thought I should probably do that now, ya know, only five years in.
I found a sheet of paper and got busy. Here’s what happened:
“What is my blogging why?”
- To present my faith in a relatable, honest & imperfect way that inspires Christians (especially non-practicing ones) to search for God.
- To help other moms feel normal, that what they do and who they are is enough. To help them recognize that they’re not alone.
- To broadcast my flaws so that others don’t feel alone or experience shame when they recognize those same flaws in themselves.
- To share the lessons I’ve learned so they can help anyone else that needs to hear them.
- To encourage, to comfort, to ignite, to be relatable, to make people laugh and to verbalize the things most people feel but don’t (or can’t accurately) articulate.
As you can see, “make that money, honey” did not make the list. So, surprise, Diana! You actually do not want to make money! You just thought making money would make this tiny corner of the internet legitimate or official in some way. You were wrong, girl.
Turns out this space is legitimate already. It’s the channel I use to express my charism—it’s how the Holy Spirit and I team up. It’s for you guys, it’s not for me (though, sometimes it ends up helping me, too) and it’s definitely not for making money.
Once that was settled, I moved on to the next thing that was tripping me up: wanting more followers. So, cool, writing is my charism. It’s the way the Holy Spirit works through me–it’s our work. I must need to work overtime and get as many eyes on our work as possible, right? Turns out, nah.
It Is Not My Job to Babysit my Work
Whoever is reading this is supposed to read it. Whoever sees this is supposed to see it. Whoever shares it, shares it and whoever doesn’t, doesn’t. God knows what He’s doing and He doesn’t need me to step in and make things complicated.
I thought back to a book I read and loved. It was the first time someone had ever really articulated what I feel when I write. The author spoke my language, she just got me. I thumbed through it recently and found this, “You might earn a living with your pursuits or you might not, but you can recognize that this is not really the point.”
However many people I reach is the perfect amount of people. I’ve finally figured out why I share what I write. It took me 5 years and 80 blog posts. Better late than never, eh?
How does the Holy Spirit team up with you? Make it your business to find out and then go out into the world and do it! There are people out there waiting for you! You probably won’t make money and some people who won’t like it (or even get it) but, that’s ok, because that’s not the point.
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