Real Talk

Why You Need a Village & How to Build One

It is absolutely true that when we allow our mess to show, we invite other people to show THEIR mess. When people are walking around mess front center, BOOM! A village is born.

In the village, you can shove aside the surface talk and get to the good stuff—the meat. The meat is where I like to live. The meat looks a lot like: I’m not fine, I don’t feel fulfilled, I don’t even know if I believe in God, my kids never listen, I feel like a failure. It also looks like: I love this kid so much it hurts, I feel great, things are good, I know exactly how you feel, I am here.

When we speak our truth we make the space for others to speak theirs and things get DONE in this safe little truth-space. We become our best selves in the truth space and we do it one hard, uncomfortable, meaty conversation at a time.

Everyone in the village knows you can be both a great mom and a “could’ve done better” mom. You can even be both AT THE SAME TIME! You don’t have to explain anything to your village or use qualifying language like, “ok, I love my daughter, but…” because the village knows.

Your village knows you are normal and good and worthy. They speak that truth to your soul when you lose sight of what truth even is. My village taught me this priceless nugget: There may be good and bad, but it is all good. All of it. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.

Find your village, ladies. If you can’t find it, build it. The first step in village building is this: show your mess.

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